STONE COLD! STONE COLD! BAH GAWD STONE COLD! Steve Austin opens up RAW to a thunderous ovation! WHAT?!
He makes note that its the very arena tonight where he got his start.
Brief shill for Brock Lesnar on his podcast right after RAW.
Steve Austin calls out The Undertaker for a quick chat! NICE!
GONG~! Lights go dark, everything tastes purple.... ITS THE DEADMAN! Deadman walkin'.
Surreal moment folks. I guess Austin decided not to stick around because hes nowhere to be found. Ah well.
Undertaker tells Lesnar the gates of hell will seem like the gates to heaven compared to what he will put him through this Sunday at Hell in a Cell..... HERE COMES THE PAIN! Lesnar and Heyman make their way out.
(This appearance brought to you by Jimmy Johns)
Heyman finds it interesting that the both of them are fighting for revenge.
"When you take everything from a man, that man ends up fighting with nothing to lose." - Undertaker
Undertaker motions Lesnar to "just bring it bitch" and Lesnar makes his way to the ring, slowly. Heyman protests the whole way. Lesnar thinks about it then jumps on the apron, staring at Undertaker. Heyman constantly shouts at him to do it under his own terms, not Undertakers. Lesnar hops off and backs up to the stage, smiling.
Undertaker does the cut throat sign as Lesnar looks on.
6 Man Tag announced, Dudleys & HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA~! versus The New Day.
Back from commercial and New Day are keeping Cena in their corner with quick tags and stomps.
Big mess towards the end, just chaos all around for the ref to control. DVon gets caught up in the distractions, apparently forgetting he was the legal man and gets pinned by Xavier.
Cena and The Dudleys get it together and knock Xavier out in the ring, Dudleys get a table! Cena and Dvon hand Xavier to Bubba on the top turnbuckle.... POWERBOMB through the table! Bubba brought back the trance!
Breaking News....apparently Randy Orton never made the Mexico tour and is not at the arena tonight. Announcers suspect The Wyatts got to him.
Backstage camera shows Ambrose hanging out with Dean Malenko and Fit Finlay. Looks like hes enjoying the moment.
AAH! AAAH! SHAAAAWN! Here comes The Heartbreak Kid! He grabs someones pizza in the aisle, takes a bite, then rushes off!
JBL, stop calling him H-B-Shizzle.... you're calling him shit.
He apologizes for taking the bite of pizza but he was hungry.
HBK reminds people that he was in the very first Hell in a Cell. He jokingly says hes been hit in the head so much he doesnt remember who his opponent was that night......
He believes the Undertaker vs Lesnar and Reigns vs Wyatt matches will be the ones to steal the show.
That hit a nerve because here comes Seth Rollins. He gets in the ring and stares down HBK. He asks HBK what hes doing out there and why hes not doing what he was instructed to do, which was to introduce Seth Rollins. HBK says he has been taking orders for 20 years and once he hits the ring... poof, its gone. So he chooses to have a little fun.
Rollins tries to leave, requesting his music but it never happens. HBK says "You know whats funny about being the second coming of anything, is you dont get what you want. But when it comes to being the original, it happens. But dont bother leaving, because you have a match up next...against Ryback. Now, hit MY music." His theme comes on as he heads out of the ring, further antagonizing Rollins as we head to commercial.
MizTV will have Ziggler and Summer Rae as guests on Smackdown. It just wont diiiiiiiie.....
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ric Flair is in the ring, I wonder what he has to WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! say.
Ric announces that he just heard from the back that Dean Ambrose has found a partner in WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! his main man WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Roman Reigns! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
DAH~! ERICK ROWAN IS BACK! He appears standing next to Bray Wyatt and Braun Strowman. Creepy.
Reigns said hes going to grab some chairs.
Reigns says hes going to sit down, and if Wyatt doesnt start nothin', there wont be nothin.
Wyatt slowly enters the ring and sits down in front of Reigns. Reigns calls him a bully, and that he gets off on it. He says Wyatt is a coward because he surrounds himself with mountains. He reminds him that this Sunday they will be inside the Cell and that means they stay out and he stays in.
CHAIRS! CHAIRS FOR EVERYONE! Here comes Dean Ambrose! Rowan and Strowman bail to the outside.
Meanwhile, backstage..... The Authority jibber jabber. Enter HBK. He mocks Seth Rollins "The stopper of shows! The man!"
Seth Rollins just offered to be Reigns and Ambrose' tag team partner against The Wyatt Family..... SHIELD REUNION???
Back from commercial and its Charlotte making her way to the ring with Becky Lynch as Charlotte faces Brie Bella.
Crowd is rather quiet for this one. Can't say I blame them. Brie Mode crap is so boring.
Chinlocks galore in this match. Mostly by Brie. Good way to kill the crowd even more!
Charlotte locks in the Figure 8 and thats all she wrote. Paige looks on backstage. Renee approaches her and asks about the attack on Natalya last Thursday on Smackdown. She avoids the question by name dropping other Divas past and present that could have attacked Nattie. Renee calls her out for avoiding the question and Paige just flips out and tells her shes no erin Andrews, and nowhere near as cute.
Back from commercial and its Mark Henry! Texas homecoming for the big guy.
Time to fight, as evidenced by Kevin Owens making his way out. Hey! Remember when Mark Henry was the World Heavyweight Champion and was convincingly tough? Yeah, WWE doesn't.
Even the crowd knows Mark isn't going to win.
"I've been a bully for 19 years!" - Mark Henry to Kevin Owens.
POP UP POWERBOMB! Holy crap! I didn't think Owens could do it. Nicely done.
Ryback is not amused. He makes his way down to the ring as Owens celebrates. Owens bails and heads to the back but Mark Henry stops him and tosses him back into the ring where Ryback meets him with a powerbomb of his own. Geezuz.
WWE Network shill by the commentary team, and I can not stand Saxtons facial reactions. He acts like its the first time he has ever heard of it, every time.
Backstage now, Renee catches up with Seth Rollins and asks about a SHIELD reunion. Rollins says no. (My stream cuts out at this point so I miss a good chunk of the interview.) He says if Ambrose and Reigns try to pick a fight, he will destroy them too.